She tried to quietly pull back the shade to climb in her bedroom window and no one would be the wiser. Jesse had been out all night in her boyfriends bedroom down the street. She really didn’t think it would matter to anyone if she was home or not. All those lonely weekends she had spent by herself while her mother and stepfather went out for the evening. Why would it matter if she was home, no one else was.
She met the guy down the street in an attempt to escape the loneliness inside herself. The promise of something warm and lasting was too much of a lure for the little girl who had spent too many hours alone. Her short life spent longing for a male who would love her. She was a girl in need of someone to take her under their wing and let her know she was worth something. Time was what she needed from someone, anyone out there willing to notice. This young lady was loosing herself and she knew it in the very pit of her soul.
It wasn’t long before her drinking resumed, Jaime had tried to quit on her own, but the craving in her gut was too strong. She described it as a “calling out to her”. I knew what she meant but I was too ashamed to admit it. I had such a draw to this young girl but I was so afraid I would screw this up just like I had before. It had only been two months since I lost contact with Jesse. Her mother said they found her body but there were still so many unanswered questions. They were still searching for her killer and I blamed myself. I was her sounding board, her mentor. I dropped the ball. She had become like so many others. I had abandoned her in the toughest hour and now I am faced with Jaime. I just don’t think I have it in me again. Mentoring is a big job. These kids are looking for someone that’s going to stick around;someone that’s not easily shocked but at the same time loves them enough not to afford them too much crap. Accountability is what she wants. I can’t hold myself accountable why would this high school sophomore pick me to mentor her? It’s a lot to think about. I don’t want to screw this up.