When students begin college, often this is their first experience away from home. It’s easy to throw caution to the wind, and to get together with others for having fun. Isn’t that what college is all about? Often this leads to relationships forming, which is a natural progression at this age, when hormones are at their most active. One of the most vulnerable situations a student can find themselves in while at college is finding themselves as part of a relationship which asks too much of them, taking them away from their studies. There are ways to ensure that a relationship is a healthy one, rather than one which drains the emotions, and this article is written for students who are looking for answers, and want to date, though are a little nervous about those first steps.
*Setting the boundaries.
*Mixing with others.
*Remembering your studies.
*Having sufficient space.
Setting the boundaries.
Often relationships go wrong when one person expects more than the other. If getting into a new relationship, be careful that parameters are set. Let them understand clearly that you don’t want to get into a serious relationship straight away. Talk about your studies, and let them see you are serious about them. Talk about things you have in common and see if there are things which interest you both which are great fun to share.
The boundaries formed at the beginning of a relationship are safeguards to stop things from going too far. The girl/boy you start dating may want things to go faster than you wish them to. Set clear boundaries and don’t be pushed into becoming committed to a relationship before you are ready to be.
Mixing with others.
A mistake that students often make is forgetting that social life is vital, and this doesn’t mean exclusively with one person. Sure, it’s nice to think you are special to one person, but imagine the turmoil this causes when the relationship ends. Suddenly the student finds themselves alone because they lost touch with other friends. This adds to pressure on both people within a relationship and no relationship should ever be exclusive of mixing with other students.
Remembering your studies.
Both of you are students. You both have obligations and if you demand too much of their time or vice versa this creates problems with time put into studies. Make sure that you respect each other sufficiently to allow enough time for both of you to get on with studying. It’s vital to your future, and although the temporary thrill of going out every night may seem like a fun alternative, your future doesn’t depend upon it. It depends upon you passing those exams and doing the best you can to become qualified.
Having sufficient space.
Both male and female students do need space in order to grow. If you get involved in an exclusive relationship too quickly, this can cause dependence upon someone else. Often young people away from home for the first time want to feel loved. It’s natural, though this should never be to the exclusion of all other activities.
Having your own space to follow ambitions, keep friends, and study is vital. Not every interest you have will interest them, and vice versa, nor would anyone expect them to have those same interests. At college a student is learning about who they are and the mistake of changing all our individual values for the sake of a relationship is a little shortsighted.
Students will always date. It’s a common fact that when you put young people together, relationships will form. It’s important too that students know how far these relationships should go. Girls, for example, should never feel pressurized to get themselves into a sexual relationship before they are ready. Boys should never expect girls to be protected. It’s a combination of responsibilities having a relationship, and one which shouldn’t be taken lightly.
With the amounts of alcohol which are consumed at college parties, be safe. Allow yourself to be in the company of people you trust, and follow good common sense when getting yourself into a potentially vulnerable situation.
No girl expects a boy to spend more than they can afford. No boy should ever put themselves into a situation where they feel they are judged by what they spend. Often relationships in college put pressures on young people to spend more than they can afford. A couple can have just as much fun getting to know each other doing things together which don’t cost money. This also gives them a chance to talk, to share interests and to save up that money for special events which may happen.
Keeping within the parameters of healthy relationships, dating can be fun. Students can share a wonderful friendship through thick and thin without putting their studies at risk, or without hurting each other. Remember that the college years are special and that those people you bond with during this time within your life will often go on to be lifelong friends. Dating adds another perspective to college life, though is only fun when no-one gets hurt, and everyone gains equally from the relationship formed.