When Teenage Love Becomes Obsessive Love: Signs of an Obsessive Love and How to Get Out of It

Nobody can argue with the joys of teenage love. It is one of the most exciting things that can happen in your teenage years. But can teenage love become an obsessive love? How do you know if you are already obsessed with love? How can you tell that your boyfriend or girlfriend is already obsessed? How can you get out of an obsessive relationship?

You are 15 and you are dating the guy of your dreams.

You have been going out for months now. You share the same classes in school with your guy. You study at home together. You go out on Saturday night dates but you never break your curfew. You talk on the phone for hours before going to bed. You are happy and in love.

But teen relationships can be challenging, too. There can be fights over little things. There may be jealousy over another boy or girl in school. There may be too much time spent exclusively with each other. One of you may feel too smothered by the other. These challenges may be ingredients for brewing an unhealthy and obsessive relationship.

You may already be heading for an obsessive kind of love when:

    • You think you cannot live without your boyfriend/girlfriend.


    • You feel that you still don’t spend too much time together.


    • You try to control your boyfriend/girlfriend in everything he/she does.


    • You are being controlled by your boyfriend/girlfriend.


    • You want to know everything your boyfriend/girlfriend does when you are not together.


    • You solely depend on each other to be happy and to have fun.


    • You have been staying away from your family and friends.


    • You hurl hurtful words at each other when fighting and then immediately apologize for it after.


    • You make promises that a huge fight won’t happen again but the promises are broken and you fight all over again.


    • You start hitting each other.


    • You threaten to hurt yourself or worse, commit suicide just to get your boyfriend/girlfriend’s attention.


If you have been experiencing these in your relationship, it is time to do more than just thinking. You need to get help and you need to get it fast. Find your way out of this obsessive love before you really hurt yourself and cause more than just a few tears but your life instead.

Getting Yourself Out of an Obsessive Love

You need to get out of your obsessive relationship before it’s too late. Whether you or your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is the one showing signs of obsession, you should know that only one of you can initiate the move to get out of the relationship.

Stop taking control of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life: You are two different people. You have your own set of friends. You have different goals and dreams. You should never impose anything and everything on your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Learn how to trust your boyfriend/girlfriend: More than the love that you have for each other, trust should always be a foundation of your relationship. Do not get jealous over his or her lab partner, you should know your boyfriend/girlfriend better to think that he/she is cheating on you.

Spend time away from each other: Do smother your boyfriend/girlfriend all the time. Go out with your own friends and let your boyfriend/girlfriend go out with his/hers. Do not check on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s activities every minute of the day.

Talk with your boyfriend/girlfriend about things that may be bothering you about your relationship: Communication is another key to making your relationship work. If you truly love and trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, you should be able to talk freely and openly about every aspect of your relationship.

Get help from an adult or a professional: Talk to a parent, a trusted aunt, or the guidance counselor in school. You may think you are capable of handling your relationship but you are a teenager. You need the wisdom and guidance of an adult.

Break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend: Though it may seem to be the hardest thing you can do, breaking up and letting go of the person is really the best thing you can do. You need to stay away from the object of your obsession before you hurt yourself or your boyfriend/girlfriend.