How Feedback from Negative People Impacts Learning Capabilities

As sons of the ultimate creator, God, we are all given the natural power to create, to enhance, to be the best in our field, to expand our talents to the depths of the universe. We are all blessed with the possibility to achieve excellence. Too bad most people get stuck in their shell when excellence knocks on their door. The real shame is that it’s not their fault. They fail to see their capacity because of the experts in non-excellence that have another natural gift: to demoralize everyone around them. These people remind me of the Demon Barbas from the television show Charmed. The demon feeds on fear, this people seam to thrive whenever they get to trample upon genuine talent.

Maybe you are not exactly a successful person but you can be. The first obstacle you have to discard is the people around you that manage to give you mind blocks all the time, not to mention the people that give you real impediments. The most common weapons the fighters against excellence use are the nice replies and phrases. Most of the times these phrases are so well polished that you don’t even notice when they twist your mind. Be very careful about these people. They are usually very elegant and willingly in their speech. Sometimes you don’t even notice when they plant the seed of doubt until it is too late.

Our work is essential to all of us and we have all been in the position to ask for feedback. Of course we were in the look out for constructive feedback from which we could learn how to improve our work, when, all of a sudden, our mind went blank. How could that be? Let’s take a step back and see if some of the next phrases were included in our feedback and what kind of feelings actually motivated them.

–          “I’m not interested in this subject” (Ignorance);

–          “That can never be done” (Pessimism);

–          “We have other priorities” (Fear);

–          “I am OK, the others are not OK, you are not OK” (Egocentrism);

–          “We could do that but, it’s not the right moment” (Disbelief);

–          “I don’t agree” (Lack of knowledge);

–          “You don’t know what you are talking about” (Aggressiveness);

–          “You are right…but…” (Incoherence);

–          “I don’t remember exactly” (Lie);

–          “I had other things to do” (Inability, Lack of interest, Stalling);

–          “It is not done like that”, “Not like that” (Uniformity);

–          “Hmm…” (Envy).

My all time favorite is: “You could write useful articles … not just movie reviews that no one cares about”. You can imagine how long my writing peaces resumed to conversations on the messenger.

These experts in non-excellence usually infect everything they touch. They will always try to convince you: that you made a bad deal, that it is not worth it, that you can not, that you are not capable, that is no use, that you are in cloudland, that it is hard, that it is impossible, etc. It’s true that sometimes the phrases above are mentioned in good faith but, most of the times they are meant to demoralize.

In anyone of us lies a potential that must be set free. These people are no help to us in the process of discovering and exploring our talents. They will cut your wings every time you want to achieve something and you will end up believing them and complying. You must ask more form yourself, trust your potential and try to find your talent and strength. Excellence lies in each of us waiting to emerge and to shine through. You deserve more. You deserve to walk on your path to excellence.