Talk of a bully and someone thinks of a big boy bullying a small boy. The main difference between the two is physical stature. So the big boy takes advantage of the fact that he is bigger than the other boy and intimidates, threatens, inflicts pain and even brings fear to this small boy.
This scenario has always played itself in history whereby the stronger conquers and vanquishes the weaker one. The richer exploits the poor class. The wiser takes advantage of the less wiser. But in today’s civilized world this is done subtly and wisely. Even in the development of technology those who reach there first take advantage of those who haven’t arrived yet. Talk of the economic giants merging so that they can take advantage of the weaker ones. And this how real life is! No wonder we talk of the “survival for the fittest.” The smarter one always gets ahead!
Bullying becomes barbaric when it is used in a physical sense. Because instead of fighting it out with muscles why can’t you fight it out with reason? But reason is also not enough because understanding and adopting a win-win situation for both parties is one way of benefiting both parties. And I believe a situation where everyone has the opportunity to get ahead will reduce the necessity for one to get aggressive and get ahead of others. Though you can’t rule out the fact that humans beings are selfish by nature and they will always seek the bigger cake at the expense of others.
So in short I can use the following words to define a bully that is one who intimidates, terrorizes, persecutes, torments, frightens, oppresses, browbeats and harasses others. I believe if you have at any time engaged in doing any of the following you in some way fit my description of a bully. We have bosses, parents, children, teachers, leaders, etc who are bullies and so in the wide spectrum of society you will find a bully who fits my description.
How do you help bullies or anyone who enjoys and takes pleasure in vanquishing or overcoming others?
1. Understand why they like bullying other kids/persons,
2. What fulfillment do they get out of it,
3. Help them develop a better alternative behavior that will bring the same fulfillment.
4. Help them also discover their values.what is most important to them and help them to fulfill their values in better ways.
5. Let them realize that they accomplish more when they affirm others without having to put them down.
6. Let them understand that “no man is an island” and that we all need each other whether we are weak in some areas or not.
7. All of us have varied strengths which complement each otherand so we should all look for ways in which we can help one another.
Finally, know that what you need is with the other person and you should seek for better ways to have it. Dialogue, friendship, persuasive skill and good culture will go along way in helping you get anything you want without having to create a war.