A proper education is the most valuable intangible item a person can possess. Schools around the world attempt to ensure the children of today are properly educated before they head out into the world on their own. But a negative school experience can leave holes in a child’s education and risk their future potential. Some still cling onto the belief that a bit of bullying is just the adversity to make a child stronger and cope better in the world. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Children are extremely emotional beings. With no assistance from the logic and reasoning centres of their brains, children count on the emotional centres on a day to day basis. Everything a child hears, witnesses and experiences is processed through the amygdala and an emotional response is formulated. This is not a choice that they have, but a part of the human development cycle. Positive stimuli will be responded to with positive emotion and self worth, whereas negative stimuli will do exactly the opposite. Bullying is without doubt a very negative and confronting situation for any child.
These responses will create a dislike of school and even a fear of going. The worse the bullying, the more negative the response in the victim. They will feign illness, hide in bathrooms and refuse to respond to simple directions. As a result, more negative stimuli, such as disciplinary action, is directed at the child, further reinforcing their dislike for the institution of school. In most cases, the child will drop out of school as soon as it becomes an option. If you place yourself in their shoes, you also would not return to a place where you are ridiculed daily and made to feel worthless – especially if there is no financial incentive.
One of the issues these children face at school as an extension to the bullying is the lack of recognition of the child’s situation. Teachers and parents look to the child to do better despite the issue. Others look to the parents to fix an issue they have no control over. Bullied children have had counsellors and services prying into their home lives looking for the solution. All of these actions can destroy the confidence a child has in authority figures and create trust issues.
A study* into Emotional Intelligence, Cognitive Intelligence and Job Performance has highlighted another unfortunate truth for bully victims. While they might have managed in the workforce with gaps in their education, the emotional state plays a much larger role in a persons job and job future. Suffering both crushed self esteem and little education, their chances of managing in the real world are greatly reduced. Yet still we work on a system of forcing them through large schools, purely for ‘socialising’ reasons, despite the extreme emotional, mental and sometimes even physical damage it is causing them.
With so many issues being faced by one child alone, gaining a proper education is the last thing they are concerned about.
EQ more important than IQ for work success