Have you ever dealt with a bully? Most of us have been confronted by a bully at school, in the workplace or even in our homes. Bullies are found just about anywhere; this is not a local problem but one that has become a global concern. A bully can be either male or female and from any walk of life. What exactly is a bully? Is there a definition that would cover all aspects of bullying?
There are four main categories of bullies.
1. The one that is the easiest to identify is the physical bully. They will act out their anger by shoving, hitting or kicking their target. They will sometimes do damage to their target’s property.
2. The verbal bully uses words to hurt or humiliate their target. They often do this by name calling and insults.
3. The relationship bully is usually a female that spreads nasty rumors about their targets. This is sometimes used by males also.
4. The reactive bullies are those that start off as targets, but later becomes bullies themselves, using the fact that they themselves where once a victim of bullying, thus justifying themselves becoming bullies. No matter if it is on the school grounds, at work or in the home, all bullies have one goal in common; they hurt or humiliate a fellow human being.
What causes someone to become a bully? Often at an early age they are marred by poor parenting or just plain neglected. These young children have parents that are cold and teach them by the use of anger and violence. They see their parents’ behavior as the norm and acceptable behavior. These children do a lot of damage, causing their targets to miss days from school. One report states that everyday more than 160,000 children miss school in the United States for fear of being bullied. Often these children have their self-confidence eroded, resulting in serious health problems.
Bullying is a learned behavior. Anything that is learned can be unlearned. Both the bully and its target need help. The bully needs help not to bully and the target needs help too. Children that bully in our schools need to be taught by example by their parents on how to treat others with respect and dignity. Their targets need to be made to see that there is no shame in walking away from a bully. Someone that bullies wants their victim to feel that they do not matter; remember no one deserves to be treated badly. By resorting to being a bully, it is they who become less worthwhile.